TL,DR: After a low period in my life I needed something new to aim towards and settled on attempting to run a marathon (despite having 0 experience of running of any kind…)

It’s a bold statement to start a “running blog” with but I’ve always hated running. I really have. Not just because I wasn’t good at it but also because I genuinely couldn’t see the point; where am I running to? why am I running? why even bother?

Despite lifelong struggles with weight; cardio was always something that I actively tried to avoid unless it was incorporated into something else. When I was younger; martial arts gave me the conditioning/cardio that I needed. As I got older, I learnt to compensate by using HIIT to minimize the amount of time I had to spend doing it. Over the years, various friends have attempted to get me into running with common themes: “You’ll learn to love it”. “It’s great stress relief”. “It’s free so why wouldn’t you?”. But barring 1 or 2 races or attempts at jogging (a year…) I never really “converted”.

So why now?

2017 was an awful year for me – hopefully the lowest I’ll ever reach. Without delving into too much detail; it started with losing one of my best friends (read his story here) and ended with my divorce. As a result – I let myself go. I stopped exercising entirely. I stopped watching what I ate. “chubby” became “fat” became “obese”. My doctor started flagging concerns about my weight, blood pressure, cholesterol. Few people are completely “happy” with how they look but I started hating what I could see happening in the mirror and yet I couldn’t bring myself to care – to do something about it. I fell into a destructive downward spiral – almost a cliché – and work and strong bonds with my family and friends helped keep me from giving up altogether.

I resolved that 2018 needed to be different; a fresh start, a new beginning – but as anyone who has experienced loss can tell you, it’s not as easy as that. I found it difficult to let go and move on. Every step along the road to recovery was a struggle and the most minor or unexpected thing could trigger another backslide. I needed something to focus my attention, something that I could work towards and a new life goal to give myself purpose again.

That goal? Run a marathon.

I think a lot of people have “run a marathon” on their bucket list and despite my hatred of cardio/running, it’s definitely on mine. What better way to focus my attention and to undo some of the damage to my body/psyche than this new challenge?

So; I’ve signed up to the Manchester 2019 marathon and also entered the ballot for London 2019 – one way or another; I will be running 42km in April 2019. Having chosen my favourite part of every work out program (the cheat day) as my moniker; my hope is that this will become a record of my efforts as well as another way to hold me to account – I know at least one person who will be expecting my updates on a regular basis, ensuring I don’t waiver along the way. There will also undoubtedly be moments where I wander off topic and I can pretty much guarantee it will be something food related…

It may turn out that I am writing for an audience of one, but if not and you’re reading this then I hope you revel in my pain, forgive my writing style and above all – let me know if you have any comments/advice!

Also – please do pay Jam’s page a visit (here again) or my fundraising attempt over at justgiving. We were too late for him in so many ways but there are so many others we could try to save.