I am walking down a road. It’s one I’ve walked down many times before. Every now and then, there are holes in the road. Sometimes I fall and it takes time to claw my way back out. Sometimes it’s a few minutes, sometimes it’s a few days. Over time, I learn to spot these pitfalls and work around them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but that’s OK; I take it one step at a time.

This may be a familiar analogy. It can be used as an analogy for mindfulness but for me it speaks of grief. I’ve been trying to bear it in mind this year as I learn to heal by preempting the events and or triggers and learning to move past them. It gets easier with time. Never easy. Just easier.

This week should have been my anniversary. I’d somehow forgotten but it struck me in a dream. Perhaps a nightmare. It’s hard not to spiral and suddenly I’m reliving the worst parts of my life.

I’ve done no training. I’m ashamed. I was weak.

Time for a holiday. See you next week.